That Referral Guy

TRUTH or DELUSION? It’s not what you know, but who you know.

DELUSION. It’s not what you know, or who you know – it’s how well you know them that really counts.

In truth, it begins with who you know because people would rather deal with someone they know, or who is recommended by someone they know, than with someone whose products or services are said to be superior. Even though they know they might find the new items more satisfactory, they feel safer staying with the familiar.


But it’s more than who you know. It’s how well you know them.

It’s not what you know, or who you know – it’s how well you know them that really counts.

          Here’s the difference. Open up your e-mail address book and count the names. How many people do you know? At least that many, probably a lot more.

All things being equal, people prefer to do business with someone they know and trust. All things not being equal, people prefer to do business with someone they know and trust.


          Now, reach into your pocket and pull out your car keys. How many pf those people you know would you hand your car keys to?

Most people who are not great networkers concentrate on getting more and more contacts in hopes of finding that one special person who will solve their business needs this month. Master networkers know that a good contact is not necessarily a good connection. In this context, a contact is a person you know but with who, you have not yet established a strong relationship; a connection is someone who knows you and trusts you because you’ve taken the time to establish credibility with that person.

In Southern California we have many huge, tall, lush eucalyptus trees that topple over fairly easily in the high winds that occur almost every year. When they’re uprooted and blown over, you can see that their root system is broad and wide but not very deep at all. To grow the roots of your network deep, you can do three things:

  1. BUILD QUALITY RELATIONSHIPS. Take time beyond normal business interactions to deepen your relationships with referral sources. Invite them to social functions, learn their hobbies and interests, and help them pursue their personal goals.
  1. NETWORK IN NEW PLACES. Other than your strong- and casual-contact groups, look for new areas to find partners with common interests, such as charitable organizations and professional support groups. Don’t prospect right away; let the relationships mature.
  1. FOCUS ON OTHERS. Rather than having a “What’s in it for me?” mind-set, ask yourself, What can I do for this person? Continually look for ways to bring business and benefits to others in any group that you’re a part of. Make yourself known as the person who always has something for others. This is a powerful way to both deepen and broaden your network.


          Your network must be not only broad but also deep. When you rely on others to cross-market your business or promote your program to a client, you’re not asking a simple favor. For true referral networking, you need relationships that are deeper than mere contacts; you need strong connections, established well in advance.

Think of it not as hunting but as farming. Take the time and energy to cultivate deep relationships by giving your referral sources anything and everything you can to help them succeed. These will be relationships you can count on when you need powerful connections. It’s not what you know or even who you know – it’s how well you know them, how well they know you, and how well they know the people you want to meet.

It’s not what you know or even who you know – it’s how well you know them, how well they know you, and how well they know the people you want to meet.

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That Referral Guy is the go-to team for in-depth knowledge of how to grow your business and maintain that growth. With a wealth of practical tools and real world applications, That Referral Guy reveals the power of doing business by referral. Once learnt, you will never look back. That Referral Guy now trains hundreds of businesspeople how to grow their businesses by harnessing the power of referral relationships.


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